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2nd December 2014

What a few days it's been feeling like shit and having damn stupid thoughts again. I thought I would attempt to go out to my daughters' yesterday, my agoraphobia has been playing up big time lately, I had a doctor's appointment, which I have no problem attending, afterwards, I caught a bus, it was soon packed solid. I was sat next to this elderly gentleman, he must have worked out something was wrong as I was holding onto my walking stick so tightly my knuckles turned white, and I had my eyes shut.
Arriving at Kingston I met my wife and grandson, we went to McDonald's for breakfast then caught a bus to my daughters, the bus got hit by a car, after about twenty minutes I got asked to leave the bus to catch another bus, which I did. Making my way to the bus station I waited for a couple of minutes when a bus decided to break down in the entrance so no other buses could get into the bus station. I did get to my daughters in the end but what a frigging day.
I give up I won't go out anymore unless I really have to, it's safer to suffer from agoraphobia and stay in.