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10th April 2014

A couple of days ago I collapsed. I have been getting real bad pains on the right side of my head, just above the temple, once I was reduced to tears because of the pain. Since I collapsed I haven't a bad pain there, but I do get niggling pain in the same place.
I am still having weird dreams and nightmares, I keep seeing shadows moving around, even had one that darkened the whole room momentarily, it was horrible. I hear you asking,  "do you believe in ghosts?" The answer is "Yes I do, because I saw my uncle's ghost when I was a child," but these ain't ghosts, they are shadows.
I am keeping myself under control, I am trying so hard to keep control, which I have to add sometimes it is so bloody difficult, I still have fear of things I am fighting these fears every day, I still have flashbacks, not so often now, but still there.
PTSD is an illness that I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy, at the moment I am calm, but who knows how I will be tomorrow, or the day after, that is the problem, it lets you have a few calm days then, bang, it hits you again.
So till next time.