Saturday 23rd April 2016

I have been running back and forth every day to the hospital for an injection of antibiotics for nearly three weeks, then they had a wonderful idea of bringing in a dermatologist. They gave me a small tube of cream to rub into my leg and said good bye to me.

The skin on the infected right leg was so dry, it was to be enough to last four weeks, twice a day. It lasted just about four days, twice a day. My leg has grown to about twice the normal size in diameter. The cream was great for clearing the dry skin, but as for the cellulitis, that has grown with a vengeance and the pain has grown with it as well. Yesterday, I phoned the hospital and spoke to the department that was giving me the injections, I told them that my leg was worse and was about the same as the first day I was taken in by ambulance, the reply was you'll have to go to your GP and get referred to the hospital, it made me feel like I had been patted on the head like a little dog and sent on my way.

Luckily I spoke to the GP's a couple and I've got an emergency appointment on Monday 25th, normally I would have to wait a month or so to see my GP, it's amazing the amount waiting I have to do there nowadays, I've been a patient there for around 28 years and it has slowly got harder & harder to get an appointment and virtually impossible to get an appointment on the same day.

TTFN

       

12th April 2016

Yet again it has been so long since I wrote here, reason? I have been so busy with real life things. 

I spent a spell in hospital in mid march with sepsis and a possible blood clot or cellulitis in my right leg. The sepsis was got rid of quite quickly, but the other thing, which still in question, has had me running back and forth from the hospital for anti biotic  injection every day, it certainly makes things easier with my agoraphobia, I now have three places on my list that I can go to without any problems. 

The end of this week, 15/4, I have to go for yet another scan to see if they can get a clear image to see if I have a clot in my leg or not, the last one was a failure because of the amount of fluid in my leg, it's so swollen and painful. I have surprised myself, a stroke on my left side and this other crap in my right leg, how the hell do I walk? Very slowly hobble or waddle I must look a right sight when people see me.

Oh well I got so much else to put here but my head is all of fluster tonight.

TTFN   

Seven tips for safer mobile phone charging - Saga

Seven tips for safer mobile phone charging - Saga

21st January 2016

        Another year has started and has anything changed? No, nothing has changed. I was going to write here at the beginning of the year, around the first, but circumstances forbade it. 

        I have wondered why so many people associate complex post traumatic stress disorder with the military, even ordinary post traumatic stress disorder, which I can understand. The Americans seem to have taken over this area of illness, as usual. There is so much help online for PTSD, and the help is always pointed towards the military, but, I suffer with the rarer CPTSD, not many people understand this side and the reasons that I suffer with it

        I was beaten every day with fists, belts, boots, a walking stick and many other weapons, whatever he had to hand at the time. I was sexually abused, I was verbally abused and mentally abused nearly every day. 

       There was a christmas where I was given a scalextric set, it was a magnificent layout, I was over the moon, I possessed it for exactly three weeks, then he sold it so he could get a drink.

       I caught him in bed with my girlfriend, she was twelve, so was I, he was forty. I have been putting 'he' and that is for my father, the person that is supposed to protect and nurture a son. I hated him so much when he was alive and I still hate him. He stabbed me and tried to kill me several times. 

      My mother told me that I was the result of him raping my her. A few years back when my mother died, after an operation went wrong, I got texts calling me a murderer. I had spent two years pushing my mother into having a heart bypass, because she suffered from angina. I found out not too long ago it was one of my sisters that sent those texts.

       So CPTSD & PTSD isn't only felt by the military, although I have the greatest respect for all the guys that risk their lives every day, whichever country they come from. It can affect anyone, for whatever reason, those people that do suffer, I just wish that the people around understood the the way I felt and realised that I am suffering every day. 

        TTFN      

Very funny reflected babies dancing| Funniest superb baby boys skating |...

9th December 2015

Nearly the end of another year, what has been achieved by me? Nothing at all, except I have have had all my family turn against me, on my  missus side, her sister and her two daughters and son, I guess I deserve it, there is only a certain amount people can take. Mental health, in particular, cpstd is still so misunderstood, even my own brothers and sisters have shoved me out again.

My memory is still going, slowly, oh well, I was warned at the hospital that it would do. The pain is still there every day. Here I go moaning again, so I'll shut up, for a change I know.

The 16th December is approaching, the anniversary of my mum's death, I can feel myself dropping into the pit of depression again, I can feel myself clawing at the walls of the pit, but losing with every day that passes, it's an awful feeling.

I doubt I will be writing here anymore till the new year, if I'm still alive.

TTFN   

Robin Tilbrook: SPEECH TO Europe of Nations and Freedoms CONFERENC...

Robin Tilbrook: SPEECH TO Europe of Nations and Freedoms CONFERENC...: SPEECH TO ENF CONFERENCE, 4TH DECEMBER 2015 Ladies and Gentlemen when Charles de Gaulle gave his famous “NON!” reply to the British Gov...